oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
