My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
My Higher Power is John Stamos
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
