butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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