How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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