I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
