dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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