And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
