Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
