i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
