RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
