I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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