Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
did i walk over a car last night?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
