I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
