He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Randomize
