normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Boobs are out for the taking
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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