He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
