I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You're like the curious george of whores
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
