I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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