Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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