Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
