dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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