Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
