so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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