Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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