So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
