But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
