just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
