I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Send help, water and tortillas.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
