And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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