mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
