Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
