I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
