So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
