I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
