Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
