how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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