Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Small penises have feelings too.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
