And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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