friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
