oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
