I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
