do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Everything about him screamed your future.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
