do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
