I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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