just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
