It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
