But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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