Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
