grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
