Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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