Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
